Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
