I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
