i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
