fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
