When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
