that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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