for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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