Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
pray to the hookup gods
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