is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
