Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
