My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
