I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize