I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Randomize
