I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
