he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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