Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
