lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
