Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
