Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
