In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize