i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
