Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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