How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
