i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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