if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
