There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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