dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
