just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
