Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My dick has a subreddit
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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