i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize