Your face is a jimmy john
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
