Fine. I'll sleep in my office
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
