IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
