you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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