never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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