her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
