I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dear god my vagina.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
