i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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