i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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