Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
