Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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