I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
