nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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