Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
