Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
