I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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