My room smells like vodka and shame
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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