Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
