i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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