I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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