I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
