i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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