But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
