Your mouth is God's brothel.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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