I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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