i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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