So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
