i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
