There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
