Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
