Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
