Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
