God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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