it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
