is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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