i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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